Date of publication: 2017-08-31 05:39
Ideas in the essay are connected logically, with effective transitions used both between paragraphs ("However" or "In contrast to the statement") and within paragraphs. Sentence structure is varied and complex and the essay clearly demonstrates facility with the "conventions of standard written English (., grammar, usage and mechanics)," with only minor errors appearing. Thus, this essay meets all the requirements for receiving a top score, a 6.
If T\technology has so increased our senses of self-efficacy that we can become veritable agents of the awful, virtual CEO's of selfishness, certainly it can be beneficial. Harnessed correctly, technology can improve our ability to think and act for ourselves. The first challenge is to figure out how to provide technology users with some direly-needed direction.
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Of course, you can see the phenomena of human laziness along with developed technology in some place. However, they would happen in specific condition, not general. What makes human to be laze of thinking is not merely technology, but the the tendency of human that they treat them as a magic stick and a black box. Not understanding the aims and theory of them couses the disapproval problems.
Finally one must understand that not all work environments can be made safer. For example, in the case of coal mining, a company only has limited ways of making the work environment safe. While companies may be able to ensure some safety precautions, they may not be able to provide all the safety measures necessary. In other words, a mining company has limited ability to control the air quality within a coal mine and therefore it cannot control the risk of employees getting blacklung. In other words, regardless of the intent of the company, some jobs are simply dangerous in nature.
When I was a child, my cousin, who was of the same age, died of a particularly vicious flu. This case, however trivial it may sound, impressed me so greatly that I decided to connect my life with medicine when I grow up, so that I would be able to study the disease, understand how it functions and, probably, will be able to save somebody else from undergoing the same experience. By the time I reached high school, this resolution became rather lukewarm, but still I tried to apply it to several biology and medical clubs and, surprisingly, it turned out that my early decision was completely correct, for biology and medicine became the subjects that I enjoyed particularly throughout my high school years.
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At the same time, the language of the essay is tight and engaging. Every sentence says something, and Richard uses economical language to clearly convey the setting and situation. The college admissions folks are likely to respond positively to the clear 89 voice 89 of the essay, the humble self-deprecating humor, and the strong writing ability of the author.
This sentence does not tell the reader enough about your experience. Whenever you write, be sure that a reader who is unfamiliar with your accomplishments will understand the subject, object, and action of each sentence.
Before reading this article, my understanding of this topic was ___________. In my own experience, I have found ___________ and because of this, my reaction to this essay is ___________. Interestingly, I have ___________ as common ground with the author/audience. What was new to me is ___________. This essay makes me think ___________. I like/dislike ___________ in the essay. I will use this article in my research essay for ___________.